The Sloth That Is Sir Boss
As we move along our journey, we meet people with a philosophy that makes us take a moment and challenges how we approach life. There is such a person in Las Vegas that I’ve met that had me doing just that. The more we talk, the more I realize he and I have a lot of the same ideologies. However, he has learned the art of slowing down. That’s a trait that I’m desperately in need of learning. It is not only his philosophy, it is his life. That is why when I learned that his primal/spirit animal is a sloth, I was not surprised. Although I'm a wolf and am used to always moving and working to get everything done at one time, there are some things I can take away from understanding the mindset of a sloth. So come with me on this journey to get to know the sloth that is known as Sir Boss.
Sir Boss, whose pronouns are He/him, is a Dominant sadistic Top with a Daddy side. He resides in Las Vegas where he co-founded The Sin City Munch. His journey started almost 20 years ago in San Diego. There, He discovered the kink side of the BDSM lifestyle. He became curious about it and started attending sex parties. He would go to a leather bar occasionally, believing it would give him an advantage over other[vanilla] men. Based on all he had observed and been exposed to up to this point, he believed that BDSM was all about male dominance. He would meet a female Dominant who would quickly change his mind. As he continued exploring and observing, he realized he was drawn to watching others beat ass. He soon discovered that he liked causing pain. And thus the sadist in him was awakened.
Sir Boss spent time in San Francisco where he would explore BDSM more intently. He did this by going to dungeons and leather bars. When he first started this journey it seemed to him to be something that only non-POC people were doing. However as he dived deeper into the rabbit hole, he soon discovered that there were indeed POCs involved in BDSM, when seeing pictures by Sir Strange. That helped him see that there were people like him in WIITWD and that he wasn’t alone in the lifestyle.
He stayed underground for a while. Then in 2003, he met his first little. He entered into his first dynamic in 2006. That dynamic ended. Afterward, he remarried and later was divorced. It was at this time when things seemed to be spiraling, that he realized that he needed to start applying the principles he learned and knew. He started working on getting himself focused and his life back on track. He went to therapy to help with this. He also followed his uncle’s advice and started moving with purpose. He also went into what he refers to as his “Monk Phase”. During this time he studied different religions. Use gleaned what he needed to bring purpose and balance to his life. Through this, he gained an understanding that we should strive to always be the best version of ourselves.
After this time of self-reflection and self-improvement, Sir Boss chose to make BDSM a full-time part of his life. As he did, he noticed how people were not moving as they were supposed to. Their actions and words were not aligned. It was also around this time that he started to meet more POC Dominants such as Sir Strange, Orpheus Black, and Master Black Zeus. Sir Boss believes he can learn from any source. With this in mind, he entered into a brief mentorship with Master Black Zeus. It was he who was the first to call him “Sir Boss”. Up until that point he had just gone by the simple moniker of ‘Boss’.
After about a year back in Las Vegas, Sir Boss wanted a space where people of color could get together and realize others like them also enjoyed this BDSM lifestyle we love so much. So he co-founded the Sin City Black Munch in 2017. It was a slow undertaking when they first started, but he was determined to make it work. To help push it forward more, he started attending other local munches. By February of 2018, Sin City Black Munch had gained a following and it has been full steam ahead ever since.
He met his current submissive, Bunnii, in 2015. He later collared her in 2016. Through the years they have made the conscious decision to strive to be the best version of themselves in their dynamic and for themselves individually. He believes it is important to support your charges. They believe in being honest, transparent, and open. One piece of advice we received would stay with him. As difficult as it may be, as soon as your dynamic no longer serves your journey, you should let it go.
His dogmas are something we can all take away from.
- Understand that there has to be a foundation for BDSM. The basics need to be learned before you try to live it.
- It’s important to know who you are.
- Be who you say you are.
- We must be helpful to be valuable
These are the standards Sir Boss lives by. It’s about the value the community sees in him, even if he never receives a cover. He is a proud sloth. When people think of sloths they tend to think of them as slow and lazy. However, the truth is sloths do not take in a lot of calories and must conserve their energy. Now comes the part about the sloth that I found to be epiphanic when speaking to Sir Boss; as a result of the way they live life, sloths move with purpose. They do not waste energy on things that are not beneficial to them. He admits he lost sight of that. He normally lived a sloth’s life but ended up burning the candle at both ends. It wasn’t until he suffered an unperceived stroke that he realized he needed to get back to being the sloth he is and move with purpose. That is where he is now; working to get to his sloth life and going back to his monk phase. The realization came that he needed to take care of himself.
The advice he gives to those starting their journey: don't be quick to identify. Get to know yourself, not just in this lifestyle but in life. Challenge yourself to be the version of yourself every day. Sir Boss has become active in his community by maintaining Sin City Black Munch and being a part of Life and Leather. He is furthering his knowledge by enrolling in the Blue Flames Institute which is the educational branch of House Blue Flames. He believes for small organizations starting, show up…always show up…show up no matter what. Keep showing up. They will come, you must be present when they do. For those more established, keep going and lead by example.
Sir Boss has adopted the motto of “Be the best version of yourself”. His philosophy in life: Move with purpose.