Safety….
the condition of being protected from or the likelihood to cause danger, risk, or denoting something designed to prevent injury or damage.
In the BDSM lifestyle, there is a mantra. "Safe, Sane and Consensual" which is expressed as SSC. What a lot of humans wonder is how can sadomasochism be safe and sane?
When it comes down to the BDSM lifestyle, it comes with a mantra. Safe, Sane and Consensual which boils down to SSC. What a lot of humans wonder is how is sadomasochism safe and sane? Lot fantasies that are played out by way of scenes, aren't always about staying within the boundaries that society has set upon most of us as far as safety is concerned, which of course puts us into a whole ‘nutha' category. Not everyone understands nor is privy to seeing the perimeter of safety that is used within our lifestyle due to everybody's different perception of the acts that tether on the means of safety and in order to act them out, they more than likely always present you with some type of risk. Even a simple spanking comes with a bit of risk.
With that in mind the idea behind being safe is that everyone is aware that there are risks in what they are doing and is/or are prepared to learn, understand and practice safe play. Take, for example, that spanking from above. Risks might include bruising and welts, which is why knowing the areas of the buttocks that can't handle a full strike or better yet, shouldn't be struck at all.
In all play there are things to consider like negotiation, which is having a conversation about what you want to do and the desired outcome of the scene. Knowing what medical, emotional or physical stress you might be under before you play. Safety is all about prepared awareness.
Some people will argue that what we do in BDSM is really safe and that we all play with a level of risk awareness instead, which is an okay way to think of it. too. In this case, safety is relative to the awareness of the people involved and the preparedness they have in dealing with the risk and consequences should something go wrong. It's about your own sense of safety in this instance. Also, making sure you are using protection and safe barriers when playing.
Sanity can be questionable too,however. BDSM activity is sane when it can be enacted in reality, safely and without consequence. Even though there are some extreme fantasies out there that just aren't sane like mutilation fantasies, extreme blood- letting, play with non-consenting partners and so on and so on. None of these can really be sanely acted upon. Sure you can fantasize about them, and there are some people who can create a false sense that they are actually happening inorder to act out the fantasy for someone.
Sanity also means that you and your partner will not play under the influence. Anything that can impair your judgment, your senses or your mental capacity is dangerous and immediately withdraws consent. People have played while being under the the influence of substances and were actually okay with that, however has anyone ever made good judgement calls, under the influence? Nope, not at all.
Consensual, the C in SSC. Consent is the largest factor in anything we do in BDSM. It has a lot to do with agreeing to explore and try new things. It means we trust our partners and we trust our awareness of the risks involved. In my opinion consent is the most important thing to BDSM. It'salso important to understand that consenting to play also means that you consent to your feelings and reactions to the play when it's all done. Feelings of regret, confusion and lack of understanding can happen, but remembering that you consented might ease them a bit and give your partner a bit of confidence that you aren't going to report them to the police nor shame or talk about them violating you for something you clearly consented at the time.
So now that we know that SSC is a large part of safety, lets not leave out other safety measures which includes knowing the different levels of safety, physical, mental and emotional which I will explore in the next article.