Depression: 1. Feelings of severe despondency and dejection.
How common is depression?
Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), more so known as depression, is one of the most common mental disorders in the United States. More than 21 Million adults are affected by depression. Now add on the economy, the world issues that we face, the holidays, and just life in general. Can you imagine how severe depression could or can be?
According to the American Association of Suicidology, about 2/3 of people who complete suicide are depressed at the time of their deaths. About 7 out of every hundred men and 1 out of every hundred women who have been diagnosed with depression in their lifetime will go on to complete suicide. Depression is the most prevalent mental health disorder. The lifetime risk for depression is 6 to 25%. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), 9.5% or 18.8 million American adults suffer from a depressive illness in any given year
IMO (in my opinion with the understanding that I am not a medical professional) depression is and should be considered a silent killer. Those who suffer usually suffer in silence alone or while wearing a mask in fear of being thought of as weak or unstable. Like the millions of Americans in the world, I suffer from depression. It took me many years in my adult life to admit it and to seek professional help for it. I at times find myself during the peaks of the winter seasons changing and around the holidays or birthdays of loved ones slowly falling into a space where I can’t shake the feeling of my depression.
I’m also the type of person who finds it hard to seek out help. As I mentioned, it took me years to be comfortable with talking to a stranger (therapist) about my depression and the things that go through my mind. However, falling into the dark abyss of depression three times and attempting to take my own life (thankfully, I wasn’t successful) made me start to reevaluate life when I found myself in a space able to think clearly.
However, there are those moments when you find yourself sliding back down that slippery slope into the dark abyss and no matter how many times you talk to your therapist it doesn’t seem to help. So you reach out to friends and family thinking they can help you brush the stench of depression away. But then your mind plays tricks on you, and you think, those you feel you can trust and open up to have issues or life matters of their own. How can you be so selfish in thinking you can run to them with your problems? At least that’s how I feel. And when I finally do open up and seek help, the minute I’m rebuffed, I shut down again. My mind plays tricks on me. It makes me think no one cares that I opened my walls up and sought help only to be dismissed.
There are ways to seek out help. The International Suicide Prevention shares the following examples:
- Reach out: When you get a chance can you contact me? I feel alone and suicidal and could use some support.
- Contact a Loved One: I don’t want to die, but I don't know how to live. Talking with you may help me feel safe. Are you free to talk?
- Express Your Feelings: This is hard for me to say but I’m having painful thoughts and it might help to talk. Are you free?
- Check-In: I’m struggling right now and just need to talk to someone — can we chat?
For those who want to offer help, think about what you’re saying. Are you truly able to hold space? Do you truly have the spoons? Or are you speaking those words out of an attempt to empathize. Because it’s okay to say you don't have the spoons. It’s okay to say you can’t handle the pressure of what’s needed from or asked of you.
Depression is a double-edged sword for both sides. The one who suffers and the one who offers help. One doesn’t want to bother, and one doesn’t want to lose a friend or loved one, or let someone down.
There are many ways to seek help during a time of need. The first step is admitting, you need help. It may be a lot to swallow, but never think you’re alone. There are many out there suffering just as you are. I am one of them. I stand beside you.
Resources:
- https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox
- Text 988 for suicide and crisis hotline
- www.nami.org