What to say…before you play
Negotiations
Before you play privately or in a dungeon, make sure you’ve done your due diligence. This includes finding someone who can do what you desire; complete proper vetting and engage in thorough negotiations. Negotiation is not just for play, but that will be the focus of this article. Complete negotiation is needed to ensure the Top and bottom are on the same page. Never say “ I will do anything/everything”. Be specific in what you want. Here are things that should be discussed during the negotiation of a scene:
- What type of scene is desired
- What are the hard limits and soft limits of the scene
- What are the physical limitations
- Are there any mental and/or emotional triggers that should be known
- Discuss any medication that is being taken
- What aftercare is needed by the bottom; what aftercare is the Top willing to provide
- What are the safe words; to pause; to end the scene
- What parts of the body, if any, should be avoided
- What is the intensity threshold
- What is it you want from the scene
These are things that, are not only for the bottom but for the Top as well. Negotiations serve to ensure the Top and bottom are on the same page. Think of it this way \the more thorough you are, the more freedom you will have to enjoy your scene. This is an essential part of staying safe and getting the experience you deserve when you play.
Remember, your safety should always come FIRST.
Until next time…Have fun…Enjoy life…Be safe!