WIIWD has different stages or levels, which all require a measure of safety. However, the very first level of safety is vetting. Vetting is that stage that sets the tone for a dynamic, play partner, or any BDSM relationship.
Proper vetting can save you from emotional, psychological, and physical harm. The way to look at it is, vet as if your life depends on it; because it does. This “vetting” focus will be on D/s dynamics. Vetting is getting to know and know about someone to decide if you are willing to move forward with that person to the next level.
One thing to remember when vetting for a potential dynamic is that the D-type and s-type are both on the same level. There is no authority exchange. The sole purpose is fact-finding and looking for red flags.
Anyone who insists on setting protocols during vetting is a red flag. This includes s-types as well. Vetting can start without letting one know. Ask around about that person, look at the groups they are in. How do they respond in those groups? You want to make sure your goals are aligned.
Find out about past trauma and current triggers. I find that conversation is great to learn about someone. Remember, this is your life and YOU are your top priority. Take your time when vetting. Hasty vetting can lead to a harmful dynamic.
Remember your safety should always come FIRST.
Until next time…Have fun…Enjoy life…Be safe!